Last night I had my first threesome with Vadim and Jessica. My feelings are horribly horribly mixed and confused. I took the S-Bahn to Karow, a suburb just north of Berlin. I got there early and hungry. I killed time in the Netto, buying a toothbrush and looking for condoms (why no condoms Netto? Why?).
Jessica arrived exactly on the hour. She has a slender figure and long blonde hair. The only two features she has that are not completely in line with the Western standard of beauty are her teeth, which are slightly large and uncorrected, and her nose, which is adorably oversized for her delicate, thin face. She has very lovely expressive eyes and an even lovelier personality. Vadim took a few minutes to join us. He is relatively fit, with the smallest beer belly imaginable. His face has begun to show his age: he has hard arrogant lines on his forehead. He has a sort of polished piratical air about him and has short dark hair. Jessica is through and through German. Vadim is Canadian of Russian descent.
Jessica drove us all to their lovely, medium-sized apartment. My first impression was the ordered cleanliness of the apartment. The kitchen looked as though no one lived in it. The little balcony was lined with newly bought and potted flowers (Jessica’s project) and the kitchen was decorated with orchids. We began with pinot grigio and began to talk. Well, Jessica and I began to talk. Vadim would join in occasionally with a poor joke or a generalization, but mostly he worked on his email and went out on the balcony to smoke. I was pleased that this rule was enforced in the house (Jessica’s doing, I believe). We switched to Sekt (and by this time both ladies were slightly tipsy. It’s my habit to drink out of nervousness).
Jessica excused herself briefly to go to the bathroom, upon which Vadim asked, “How are we feeling?” Tipsy as I was, I had no solid answer to the question, other than to defer the decision of how we were feeling to someone else. He then asked in lowered tones, “I have to ask, though it’s personal. Do you shave?”
Having anticipated this question possibly coming up, I was surprised at my own level of surprise, hearing the question. If I weren’t already flushed from the wine, I felt a new rash of heat blister across my face. A bit flustered, I answered that no, I didn’t.
“Would you be willing to?” This was the question for which I wasn’t quite prepared… Was I? Just how much would I hate myself if I sold out my political and personal identity for one night of group sex?
I finally came to the conclusion. “No. It’s political for me. And personal, to be honest.” The next question came gingerly. “Is that a requirement?” I strained to sound nonchalant.
At this moment of course, Jessica returned. We laughed nervously. Perceptive as she is, she knew instantly that something had transpired. We explained, and I repeated my question. It comes out that Jessica is the one with the problem, not Vadim. Vadim doesn’t care what he shoves his dick into, a conclusion I’ve reached after the entire experience. At that moment, I was ready to leave. I would tell myself I had gained acquaintances and that I had had 3 glasses of wine and a glass of Sekt free of charge! It was determined that we could do other things… Jessica didn’t like going down on girls with hair. No problem, we can do something else. We resumed discussing other topics, namely Jessica’s work position.
As I convinced her that asking for a raise was a good idea, Vadim took another smoke. The man smoke like a chimney. I moved my foot aside to give him space when he returned. He took my foot and put it back where it was. A strange mix of panic and excitement rose in my throat. With one hand, he held mine and stroked it in pleasing abstract patterns. I stroked back with my thumb, to signal willingness.
Jessica and I continued to talk about her career as Vadim slid a hand up my stocking-clad leg. I made an effort to concentrate on Jessica’s words as Vadim’s hand passed the top of my thigh-highs. He squeezed my buttocks and investigated my underwear. Pushing it aside, he easily found what he was looking for. He inserted one probing finger into me. Jessica continued to talk about her career. The contrast was excruciating.
Jessica finally paused. At this point, Vadim was slowly fingering me to wetness. “Why don’t you two kiss, already?” Vadim suggested. I gladly took this suggestion, shifting so that my slit was easily accessible to Vadim while I kissed the soft lips of Jessica. We began chastely, like virginal schoolgirls. I deepened the kiss by entangling my fingers in her hair, hands searching for sensitive spots.
Vadim began to finger fuck me in earnest now. I began to moan quietly into Jessica’s mouth. She didn’t seem terribly responsive to me. We all disrobed fairly quickly and before I knew it, Vadim was standing nude before us. “I want you to lick my cock.” We obliged on either sides of him. My hand was still on Jessica’s arm. Vadim’s hand was in my hair. He guided my mouth with his hand, making me take in more and more of his cock, as he began to kiss Jessica. He used his hand at the back of my head to make me bob up and down the length of his cock.
“Let’s go to the bedroom.” We followed him. He lay down, splayed in the middle. “I want C to suck my cock.” I obliged with enthusiasm and little skill. “Lick along the side,” he instructed. He was actually not a bad teacher. What Jessica was doing at this time, I have no idea.
Eventually he tired of this and initiated another position change. “I want to see you make Jessica come.” I licked Jessica’s neatly shaven pussy. Her little stubby blonde hairs were hardy visible. She didn’t taste like much at all. Her clitoris was very small and hidden in a drapery of clitoral hood. Her pussy was dainty as well. I slipped two fingers in, continuing to lick her clit. She seemed to respond well to the internal stimulation.
“See how easy she is?” Vadim said. I didn’t necessarily agree. We had discussed how easily she came earlier that evening. Vadim had laughed as he said it. Jessica looked slightly uncomfortable and hadn’t said anything. My first doubts about the nature of their sexual relationship bloomed. She was hardly wet at all, compared to Amy. And she was very quiet, which unnerved me quite a bit. My normal barometer for how much a woman likes what I’m doing to her operates almost completely on wetness and sound. Vadim lifted my buttocks by the hips and finger-fucked me as my face was buried in his girlfriend’s pussy.
I am not sure when he switched from finger-fucking to actual fucking, but in the space of a few minutes, I was suddenly making noises I had never made before and was quite incapable of continuing to do Jessica’s lovely little pussy justice. I moaned repeatedly and loudly as he fucked me doggy style, not noticing at first the lack of condom.
My hands clenched into fists in the bedspread. Jessica’s hand found mine at one point and I laced my fingers tightly in hers. “Sounds like somebody’s never had a big dick before,” Vadim noted, with laughter in his voice.
I was too far gone at this point to know how to respond other than, “No I haven’t,” spread out in between moans. He slapped my ass once. I wish he would have slapped me more.
Dignity prevents me from asking him to slap me now that I am certain I dislike him. But that comes later.
At this moment in the story, I was lost in pleasure, in the sound and feeling of the slapping of his skin against mine. “Have you come yet?”he asked, as though something was wrong with me.
“No,” I managed.
He told me to roll over on my back. I obeyed and he fucked me that way, telling me to lift my legs up. “Do you feel the difference?”
I barely had the presence to moan “yeah.”
He asked if I liked it. I struggled to form the simple sentence, “It’s good.” He kissed me with his open mouth and soft tongue, which was faintly sweet (from the rum and cokes he had drunk) and smoky (from the tobacco). “Have you ever tasted a man’s come?”
“No.” I was pinned underneath Vadim, pinned to the bed by his weight and his cock.
“Jessica did you hear that, she’s never tasted come.” In the mean time, Jessica masturbated herself quietly, watching. He then gave her a turn.
Unsure of what to do at this point, without direction as I was, I sucked her tits as Vadim fucked her doggy style.
The order becomes confusing to me now, but these things happened: He told me to lick Jessica’s asshole. I have never done this particular sex act before. She had a pert little asshole. I fingered her as I licked it. “Are you fingering her?” asked Vadim.
“Mhm,” I replied through a mouthful of ass.
“Good girl.” He told me to lick his asshole (and to try to put my tongue deeper), he told me I was a good girl for doing what he told me to and rewarded me with his cock again.
My moans were getting louder and higher and shorter as I approached orgasm. “So close,” I began to gasp. I was on the cliff, about to come… then he pulled out of me and stood, jerking off.
“I want you to taste my come. On the floor, on your knees.” I obeyed, feeling my former-approaching orgasm fading. I rested my hands on his hairy, muscled legs. “Are you ready for the hot come?” I could taste pussy on his cock. I thought it might be the taste of Jessica… no, it was my pussy. I could taste myself on him.
He ejaculated into my mouth. Or rather, dribbled. It tasted faintly sour. I didn’t like it. But I swallowed and sucked every last drop from him (and the bastard sighed in appreciation, finally.) “Good job girls,” he said with an air of finality. I kissed Jessica, still on my knees, asking if she could taste his come on my mouth… disappointingly, she couldn’t.
I cuddled with Jessica on the bed while Vadim did something or other in the bathroom. We began to talk again, about music among other things. Vadim called from the bathroom, “Oh by the way C, you’re on your period.” I apologized of course, but the couple made it clear that it was no problem.
Jessica said of Vadim, “he doesn’t care,” which supported my hypothesis that the man didn’t give a damn where he put his penis. “I have that affect sometimes. When you put something in there deep and hard enough.” He grinned. I pretended he hadn’t spoken, so that I didn’t have to process what an asshole he was. There was a slight numbness in my right leg, which I ignored, assuming it would be gone by morning.
I asked to stay over and slept on the couch, denied orgasm, denied dinner, denied post-sex cuddles, denied waking up beside a warm body. After the post-sex glow wore off, I was angry. 1) He didn’t use a condom. 2) I didn’t come. 3) I was hungry. 4) I had to sleep alone on the hard couch. 5) I didn’t think Jessica had actually come either… if she had, it was very quiet. I have a feeling she has never come and he has just been telling her that she has, which makes me even angrier. 6) My mouth was sticky and strange and I wanted a glass of water, but I was too tired to get it and didn’t know where the glasses were. 7) I sensed Vadim’s eyes on my belly and my stretch marks. This man does not make me feel good except for when his cock is inside me.
I then thought suddenly of Amy and almost cried I missed her so terribly. With Amy, I would have come, eaten, cuddled, woken up beside her and had a morning fuck. With Amy, I wouldn’t have been the only loud one. With Amy, I would have not felt too weird to get a glass of water. With Amy, I could have asked about the strange numbness in my leg, and she would have had something useful to say about it. I finally drifted off into fitful sleep and dreamed that Vadim was the villain from whom I was trying to save Jessica. I woke up often. I didn’t sleep well. When morning dawned and we had breakfast together, I was ready to get out of there.
I am afraid I might be pregnant. I inserted a nuvaring today, to make myself feel better, and comfort myself with the thought that at least he didn’t come inside me, but nonetheless, I do not want to repeat this experience, and there is a distinct possibility that I have a fertilized egg inside me right now. I wish I could befriend Jessica and convince her to leave this selfish arrogant prick who doesn’t care enough about making women come and makes racial jokes. I wish I could give her a real orgasm–a gift from one woman to another. This doesn’t seem possible.
I won’t let this put me off of my study of sex. There’s more to learn, more dicks to know, more to experience. Always.